Life is Suffering-Ep.3

About twenty-five hundred years ago, a pretty significant religious figure declared that “Life is suffering.”  His name was Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha.

I don’t know how to express this sentiment enough, especially here in the west, but without it (or at least some resonance with it) the path to enlightened reasoning just doesn’t work.  Suffering is the fuel that propels the seeker onward.  Suffering is, as spiritual author and teacher Ram Dass (1931-2019) put it, “grist for the mill”.  Suffering is often the paradoxical doorway to the very freedom you’ve been longing for.

Of course, don’t take this idea, that “suffering is the doorway” literally.  Throngs of unsophisticated seekers and religionists throughout the ages have twisted the idea of suffering and spiritual growth into a toxic brew of shame, guilt, self-depravation or even self-flagellation.  This kind of forced, ego-driven suffering will get you nowhere.  The Buddha was reflecting on something deeper and more nuanced.

Today, on the surface to say that “life is suffering” is simply to say that life is stressful.  Life is difficult. Life is rife with anxiety, loss, struggle, effort and pain.  Penetrate a little deeper into the idea (and closer to what the Buddha probably had in mind) and you may find that “life is suffering” because it seems to lack meaning, purpose, peace, joy or…something.  If you’re here reading this blog, then more than likely, you know exactly what I mean by this.  Something always seems to be missing, therefore––life is suffering. (If this is you, hang in there, friend––you’re in the right place to change this.)

Suffering played a significant role on my own path to enlightened reasoning.  Before I get into the details however, let’s divide suffering into two categories––operational and existential.  Operational suffering is dispensed to all human beings and never goes away––no matter how aware, mindful, enlightened or reasonable you become. Cut your finger, fail to pay the bills, receive notice of a death in the family, get in a car accident, get fired from your job––you will experience the mighty wrath of operational suffering.

Existential suffering is also dispensed to all, but strangely enough, only a few bother to deal with it or eliminate it, which is entirely possible. Existential suffering is the gnawing internal sense that something is missing, that life could have more meaning, that there’s something to be done and somewhere to go that is somehow better.   At first, existential suffering is like a soft whisper held delicately aloft on a warm summer’s breeze. Eventually however, that breeze whips into a violent, cacophonous hurricane––a tempest that would make even the likes of William Shakespeare blush.

Cut to the chase: Before embarking upon my spiritual journey, I experienced both operational and existential suffering. Over time, as I passed through the stages of attention, awareness, mindfulness, and spiritual awakening, my existential suffering decreased until the journey’s end, where it vanished entirely.  But make no mistake, all throughout this journey I suffered operationally and I still do.

Verily I say unto thee

I am vulnerable to the sting of a honey bee

And if like a sailor you hear me curse

Know that the poor bee had it far worse

Here's a crude graph depicting both existential and operational suffering throughout the lifetime of someone dedicated to the pursuit of enlightened reasoning.

Bottom line is this: Don’t delude yourself into thinking that any form of self-knowledge, spirituality or enlightened reasoning will rid you of the natural ups and downs of life.

Let’s get into the nitty gritty here about the nature of the existential suffering that compelled me forward on my path.  I want to share some of this with you, just to let you know that you’re not alone––to give you hope and inspiration and––to help illuminate your own path. 

If you’re at all similar to me, you currently suffer from some garden variety form of existential suffering which manifests itself with one or more of these symptoms: 

• stress
• anxiety
• depression
• sadness
• unworthiness
• meaninglessness
• hopelessness
• boredom
• laziness
• unlove
• loneliness
• irritability
• frustration
• anger
• fear

Perhaps you experience these symptoms moderately or infrequently.  Perhaps you’re drowning in them.  Regardless of your situation, it’s wise to reorient yourself to your condition and start making friends with existential suffering right now.  Stop pushing it away. Stop trying to alter or eradicate it. Stop avoiding it. Stop distracting yourself from it. Stop medicating yourself (recreationally or pharmaceutically) from it. None of these tactics will work.  You need to start accepting and understanding it in a completely different light––a light that is very often at odds with the modern, western, cut-it-or-drug-it culture. You need to wisely view your suffering as nothing less than invitation from the universe.

Accept this invitation right now.

Have a seat. Relax. Take a big breath and open the envelope. Let it all in.  Intentionally become completely aware of every nuance, facet, color, size or shape of the suffering. Observe it. Watch it. Witness it. Accept it. Let it flood your entire being.  Do this while reading. Do this while meditating. Do this while driving. Do this with a therapist. Do this with your spouse. Do this with your best friend. Do this in Satsang. Do this however and whenever you can.  Become a master of observational awareness and watch existential suffering dissipate as you do so.

I am not suggesting to you that doing this is easy.  I am not suggesting to you that this is something you can accomplish in days or months.  I am not suggesting to you that doing so doesn’t come at a cost. It will most definitely cost. It will cost you time, money, energy, effort and struggle to do this properly and accurately.  But more than anything it will cost you your ignorance and false presumption about who you are.

Also––don’t fool yourself into thinking you can do this on your own. Don’t be naive and presume that by reading a single book or watching a YouTube video that you can attain enlightened reasoning. That tired old, western, hyper-masculine, do-it-yourself approach will inevitably fail. Like any serious profession or career, you need others to teach, guide, and inspire you.

The path to enlightened reasoning is not for hobbyists or dilettantes. The path is littered with countless futile attempts and failures.  I’m not telling you this to discourage you, but to empower you.  I am not here to blow saccharin snowflakes of false promises or enthusiasm up your ass.  I am here to ignite a revolution in the core of your heart and mind.  For this purpose, it’s best that I am brutally honest with you. 

Become a seeker of truth.  Become your own best advocate. Become that which is inviting you to become.  It’s not an easy path, but it’s a worthwhile path.

I know the following statement may seem counterintuitive, but it served me well while on the path to enlightened reasoning:

In order to transcend the ego

One must have an ego––big enough

To think that you can actually

––Transcend it.

This is a clever way of saying that you must give yourself complete permission to seek and find enlightened reasoning.

Yes, life is suffering.  I agree with the Buddha. Author/ teacher Eckhart Tolle once said that this place is meant to go wrong. I agree with Mr. Tolle. The Greek philosopher Socrates said long ago that “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  I also agree with Socrates. Taken altogether these three philosophers could probably cure your existential woes in about three days.  I’m not saying I can do this, but I am saying I learned from the best. We’ll give it our best shot.